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Cynical Quotes

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Stress is caused by giving a fuck.

Stress is caused by giving a fuck.

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

Do what the fuck you want. Because in the end people are assholes and will judge you anyway.

Do what the fuck you want. Because in the end people are assholes and will judge you anyway.

Before you ask why someone hates you, ask yourself why you even give a fuck.

Before you ask why someone hates you, ask yourself why you even give a fuck.

Anything is possible with the right attitude, a sledge hammer and some duct tape.

Anything is possible with the right attitude, a sledge hammer and some duct tape.

Don't like me? Fuck off. Problem solved.

Don’t like me? Fuck off. Problem solved.

I love free speech. I also love ignore, mute and block.

I love free speech. I also love ignore, mute and block.

Some people’s birth certificates should be an apology letters from the condom factory.

Some people’s birth certificates should be an apology letters from the condom factory.

The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant.

The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant.

A cat looks down upon a man, and a dog looks looks up to a man, but a pig will look a man in the eye and see his equal. – Winston Churchill

A cat looks down upon a man, and a dog looks looks up to a man, but a pig will look a man in the eye and see his equal. – Winston Churchill

71% of our planet is covered by water. 28,9 is covered by fucking idiots.

71% of our planet is covered by water. 28,9 is covered by fucking idiots.

52% of women fake orgasms. 100% of men don’t give a shit.

52% of women fake orgasms. 100% of men don’t give a shit.

RULE NUMBER ONE: Fuck what they think.

RULE NUMBER ONE: Fuck what they think.

A large group of people is called a “NO THANKS”

A large group of people is called a “NO THANKS”