Demotivational Quotes

Nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner. - Justin Sewell

Nothing says “you’re a loser” more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner. – Justin Sewell

Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. – William Goldman

Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. – William Goldman

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because if you don’t, everyone will ask you what’s wrong.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because if you don’t, everyone will ask you what’s wrong.

Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.

Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.

I am no longer following my heart. That bitch gives bad directions.

I am no longer following my heart. That bitch gives bad directions.

Yeah, it's pretty hard not to be completely cynical these days. - David Byrne

Yeah, it’s pretty hard not to be completely cynical these days. – David Byrne

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.

Life is what happens when you’re busy reading inspirational quotes.

Life is what happens when you’re busy reading inspirational quotes.

If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.

If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.

Everything is bad and everyone is dumb.

Everything is bad and everyone is dumb.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. - Steven Wright

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. – Steven Wright

Every group needs its twat, and if you’re in a group of people and there isn’t a twat, then it’s you. - Angus Watson

Every group needs its twat, and if you’re in a group of people and there isn’t a twat, then it’s you. – Angus Watson

Some trite inspirational quote about overcoming things or some shit. I don’t know. Fuck off.

Some trite inspirational quote about overcoming things or some shit. I don’t know. Fuck off.

If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments.

If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments.

When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.

When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Three stages of life: 1. Birth, 2. What the fuck is this, 3. Death

Three stages of life: 1. Birth, 2. What the fuck is this, 3. Death

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.

Someone needs to create a new essential oil called "Leave Me The Hell Alone". I’d rub that shit all over me.

Someone needs to create a new essential oil called “Leave Me The Hell Alone”. I’d rub that shit all over me.

I know everything happens for a reason, but what the fuck?

I know everything happens for a reason, but what the fuck?