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Friends are like boobs. Some are big, some are small. Some are real and some are fake.

Friends are like boobs. Some are big, some are small. Some are real and some are fake.

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You remind me of my Chinese friend... Ug Lee.
Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.
WE ARE ALL: Ugly to someone, fake to someone, stuck-up to someone, ain’t shit to someone, a loser to someone, a bitch to someone. BUT WHO THE HELL CARES. Make your money, pay your bills, take care of you and your family, and don’t worry what anyone else thinks.
Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt, and being real gets you hated.
There’s a “hell” in hello, "good" in goodbye, "lie" in believe,"over" in lover, "end" in friend, and “if” in life.
The only thing I will force in my life is my jeans over my ass. Not friends, not relationships.
Sometimes I wonder why I don't have many friends. Then I hear some of the stupid shit that comes out of people's mouths and I remember.
Sometimes I enjoy when people stop being friends with me. It's like the garbage took itself out.
So let me get this straight. Women wear fake hear, nails, lashes, contacts. Buy fake tits, lips, ass, and get botox... but want a real man?
SHIT I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR:
Roses are dead, love is fake, weddings are basically funerals with cake.
People like to say they are "Real", but they don't say real what. Real shady, real needy, a real piece of shit. Sorry, but I need you to be more specific.