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Women won't date a guy that still lives with his mom, but will date a man that still lives with his wife.
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
Women fall in love with what they hear. Men fall in love with what they see. That's why women wear makeup and men lie.
Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.
Women don’t fart. They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn’s laughter and smell like rainbows.
Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. – Betty White
WE NEED TO TALK: Women's secret code for haha sorry, you're fucked.
To the women who say "all men are the same". Maybe you shouldn't have tried them all?
There is a big difference between a QUIET woman and a SILENT woman. The first one is a miracle. The second one is a time bomb.
The most dangerous animal in the world is a smiling woman sitting in silence.
The best things in life either make you fat, drunk or pregnant.
THE 5 STAGES OF WOMAN'S LIFE: 1. To grow up, 2. To fill out, 3. To slim down, 4. To hold it in, 5. To hell with it.