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If you’re talking behind my back than you’re in the perfect position to kiss my ass.

If you’re talking behind my back than you’re in the perfect position to kiss my ass.

Ass | Back | Kiss | Kiss My Ass | Talking

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Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time?
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
You have one advantage over me. You can kiss my ass and I can't.
While you're talking behind my back feel free to bend down and kiss my ass.
When I shut my mouth and turn to walk away, it doesn't mean you won. It simply means your stupid ass isn't worth anymore of my time.
The turtle can breathe through it’s ass. Humans have not yet reached this stage of evolution, although many have learned to talk through it.
The only thing I will force in my life is my jeans over my ass. Not friends, not relationships.
The older I get the more everyone can kiss my ass.
The number of times I think “Shut the fuck up” while people are talking is getting out of hand.
The difference between me and most people is the shit everyone else says behind your back, I say it to your face.
The biggest step in any relationships isn’t the first kiss. It is the first fart.
Stay classy, sassy, and a bit bad assy.