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Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.
You’re never too old to try something stupid.
You can't always control who walks into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.
You can be stupid or you can be loud. Please don’t be both.
Yes, I've made mistakes. Life doesn't come with instructions. And if it did, I wouldn't follow them anyway.
Why is life testing me so hard lately? I mean I will survive but damn give me a fucking break.
Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. – Betty White
Whoever said the customer is always right has never worked with the public a day in their freaking life!
When you are dead, you don't know that you're dead. All of the pain is felt by others. The same thing happens when you are stupid.
When people suck the life out of you, wouldn’t it be nice if they took some fat too?
When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "why me" say "try me".