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With age come new skills... You can laugh, cough, sneeze, and pee all at the same time.
One day I will start behaving myself.. But not today. (Tomorrow’s not looking good either.)
Once you hit a certain age you become permanently unimpressed by a lot of shit.
I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “You probably shouldn’t say that” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens”.
I’m at the age where fuck you, fuck off, and fuck that answer almost every question I’m asked.
I run on caffeine, sarcasm, and inappropriate thoughts.
I like the type of people whose sense of humor may be described as "inappropriate" with the chance of ruining family dinner.
I hate when people use their zodiac to justify shitty behaviour like "Sorry I can't help it, I'm a Scorpio". No Susan, you're just a bitch.
Act my age? What the fuck is that “act my age?” What do I care how old I am? The ocean is old as fuck. It will still drown your ass with vigor.