Home     Browse     Tags     Random

Offensive Quotes

Your dick belongs in your pants, not in your personality.

Your dick belongs in your pants, not in your personality.

I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake.

I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake.

Spreading rumors about me? Well that’s good... I mean at least you learned to spread something other then your legs!

Spreading rumors about me? Well that’s good… I mean at least you learned to spread something other then your legs!

I'm not insulting you. I'm describing you.

I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you.

I’m always forced to do shit I’m not qualified for. Like being nice to fucking idiots.

I’m always forced to do shit I’m not qualified for. Like being nice to fucking idiots.

It’s never too late to shut the fuck up and mind your own business.Rude, Sarcastic, Funny Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings

It’s never too late to shut the fuck up and mind your own business.

No one is harder on me than me. So take your judgment and shove it up your ass.

No one is harder on me than me. So take your judgment and shove it up your ass.

If stupid were a disability, I know a few people that would get a monthly check.Rude, Sarcastic, Funny Quotes, Thoughts, Sayings

If stupid were a disability, I know a few people that would get a monthly check.

Sorry, it's not my job to blow sunshine up your ass.

Sorry, it’s not my job to blow sunshine up your ass.

I'd tell you to kiss my ass, but I'm pretty sure you'd fall in love, and then I'd never get rid of you.

I’d tell you to kiss my ass, but I’m pretty sure you’d fall in love, and then I’d never get rid of you.

Seriously, I don't know when exactly that UFO landed and dumped all these stupid people, but they apparently aren't coming back for them.

Seriously, I don’t know when exactly that UFO landed and dumped all these stupid people, but they apparently aren’t coming back for them.

I end a lot of my sentences with "just saying" because ending the sentence with "dumb ass" would probably be considered offensive.

I end a lot of my sentences with “just saying” because ending the sentence with “dumb ass” would probably be considered offensive.

If you ask a stupid question, you may feel stupid; if you don’t ask a stupid question, you remain stupid. - Tony Rothman

If you ask a stupid question, you may feel stupid; if you don’t ask a stupid question, you remain stupid. – Tony Rothman

No matter how big a hammer you use, you can't pound common sense into stupid people.

No matter how big a hammer you use, you can’t pound common sense into stupid people.

Most people are assholes. Don't believe me? Next time you see a group of people, yell out "Hey, Asshole". They'll turn and look.

Most people are assholes. Don’t believe me? Next time you see a group of people, yell out “Hey, Asshole”. They’ll turn and look.

You give my middle finger an erection.

You give my middle finger an erection.

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Revenge is not in my plans. You'll fuck yourself on your own

Revenge is not in my plans. You’ll fuck yourself on your own.

I would love to insult you, but I’m afraid I won’t do as well as nature did.

I would love to insult you, but I’m afraid I won’t do as well as nature did.

“How do you sleep at night knowing people don’t like you?” With no underwear in case they want to kiss my ass.

“How do you sleep at night knowing people don’t like you?” With no underwear in case they want to kiss my ass.