During sex, it’s perfectly fine to say “yeah”, “yes”, and “oh yes”, but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming “yep”.
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When I shut my mouth and turn to walk away, it doesn't mean you won. It simply means your stupid ass isn't worth anymore of my time.
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I should be ashamed of my behavior. Let's be clear. I'm not, but I should be.
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TEQUILA for those times you want to forget stupid shit you've done and do new even stupider shit.
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Not only does my mind wonder... sometimes it walks off completely.
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I don't regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them.
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Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
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Sometimes you just have to chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on.
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I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
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THE FOUR STAGE OF LIFE: 1. You believe in Santa Claus, 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus, 3. You are Santa Claus, 4. You look like Santa Claus
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It’s better to shoot for the stars and miss than to aim at pile of shit and hit.
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The stuff you heard about me is a lie, I'm way worse.
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"FUCK IT" helped me through a lot of situations.
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Some people will talk shit about you to get attention, because if they talk about themselves no one will give a fuck.
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Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on.
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I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.
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Life has a tendency of fucking things up when you finally get to be happy.
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It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain
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Silence is the best reply to a fool.
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Men only have 2 emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich.
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Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones, try a different one each day.
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I’ve lost my ability to give a damn. If found, no need to return it. Go ahead and keep it and see if it works for you.
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Knowing when to shut the hell up is a gift very few people are born with.
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I don't understand your specific kind of crazy but I do admire your total commitment to it.
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I've been through hell throughout my life. And my ass just smiled the whole time.
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