I don’t hate you, I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence.
Think whatever you like of me if it helps you sleep at night. In the end I get to keep my integrity while you feed your own bullshit to stay alive.
Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else, because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate.
When people suck the life out of you, wouldn’t it be nice if they took some fat too?
I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. - Madonna
Be happy. It drives people crazy.
Life is like sex, you can either lay back and let it screw you, or you can get on top and ride the hell out of it.
I’d rather be an honest asshole than a well liked liar.
Friends come and go like waves of the ocean, but the true ones stick, like an octopus on your face.
When life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile and very politely say "you hit like a bitch".
Your dick belongs in your pants, not in your personality.
I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake.
Spreading rumors about me? Well that’s good... I mean at least you learned to spread something other then your legs!
Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and walk away. Other times, you have to be the bigger bitch to remind them who they're dealing with.
I'm not insulting you. I'm describing you.
It isn't that I'm not a people person, I'm just not a stupid people person.
I love it when people think they're going to punish me by not talking to me.
What to do if you miss your ex? Reload and shoot again.
I’m always forced to do shit I’m not qualified for. Like being nice to fucking idiots.
Dr's say that drinking 8 glasses of water a day helps your skin look younger. My advice: Drink 8 glasses of wine a day an you won't give a damn how old you look.