Be nice, but not too nice. The world will FUCK YOU otherwise.
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Is FUCKTASTROPHY a word? Because I feel it could be useful.
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Have you noticed that the people with verbal diarrhea are often the people with crap for brains?
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A baby can drink a bottle, fall asleep and people say its cute. If I do it, I'm an alcoholic.
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EVERYONE’S FUCKED UP. You just gotta figure out what kind of fucked up you’re into.
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Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
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I am a nice person. Just don't push the asshole button.
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I may not be much help in telling you what works. But I sure have fucked up enough to tell you what doesn't.
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Being an adult is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by fucking airplane.
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It's never too late to get your shit together.
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I have 3 moods: IDK, IDC, IDGAF.
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You think everyone has the same heart as you, and that's what's going to fuck you up.
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I am not fragile like a flower. I am fragile like a bomb.
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A woman's anger is like a check engine light. There is no way to figure out why it came on. Just ignore it and hope it goes away.
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Every evening when I tell my boss "Have a good night", what I really saying is "Go fuck yourself".
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I've learned a lot of great lessons from a few fucked up people.
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How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the fuck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
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Pretty sure I’ve spent about a third of my life saying "What the fuck is wrong with people".
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I am much nicer if you don't get to know me.
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Did you know that if you put you ear up to a stranger's leg you can hear them say: "What the fuck are you doing?"
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