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It’s not an attitude if I have it every day. It’s my personality.
My age is very inappropriate for my behaviour.
Ignoranus: Someone who is both stupid and an asshole.
Until you work in food or retail, you have no idea the level of stupid that exist in the world.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. - Steven Wright
I hate when I’m starting to become a good person and someone comes and pushes my asshole-mode buttons.
No matter what you are going through, always try and help people. So instead of saying “Fuck off” ask, “How can I help you to fuck off?”
Sargasm: When the urge to make a sarcastic reply is so overwhelming you can only roll your eyes and grunt incoherently.
When killing them with kindness doesn’t work, I’ve heard that baseball bat is quite effective.
Every group needs its twat, and if you’re in a group of people and there isn’t a twat, then it’s you. - Angus Watson
Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other... well the other is an asshole.
Some trite inspirational quote about overcoming things or some shit. I don’t know. Fuck off.
At times, I’am grateful that thoughts don't appear in bubbles over our heads.
I either drink coffee or I say bad words. Just kidding. I do both.
Karma is always watching. Just like Santa Claus, only bitchier.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde
Just because I give you advice, it doesn’t mean I know more than you. It just means I’ve done more stupid shit.
If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments.
Once I learn someone hates me, I make sure to go out of my way to piss them off more because that’s what adults do.
They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody? - Princess Diana