If you didn't hear it with your own ears, or see it with your own eyes, then don't invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
Not sure if I am emotionally strong and handle everything or I am a heartless sociopath.
My only regret is that I didn’t tell enough people to fuck off.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.
Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting. - Finley Peter Dunne
Once a girl takes off her bra, don’t ask her to do shit. She’s clocked out from life.
I can do anything with a little profanity and sarcasm.
It’s better to have loved and lost than to live with a piece of shit that makes you miserable the rest of your life.
My morning coffee makes me feel like I got my shit together. I don’t. But it feels like it.
Stop trying to make everyone happy. You’re not tequila. - Emmy Rossum
Someone needs to create a new essential oil called "Leave Me The Hell Alone". I’d rub that shit all over me.
I wonder if people look both ways before getting on my fucking nerves.
The number of times I think “Shut the fuck up” while people are talking is getting out of hand.
I really hope my life doesn’t flash before my eyes when I die. There’s some shit I’d rather not see again.
I am not crazy. I prefer the term "Mentally hilarious".
TALK minus ACTION equals SHIT.
They don’t discard you for someone better. They discard you for someone who can’t see their bullshit.
When people treat you like they don’t care, believe them.
I don’t care who I lose anymore. I choose me. I got shit to do.