Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it becomes beautiful day.
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God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams
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Every time I say "Life can't get more fucked up". Life replies, "Challenge accepted".
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Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.
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Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away.
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Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.
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Stress is caused by giving a fuck.
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Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.
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Do what the fuck you want. Because in the end people are assholes and will judge you anyway.
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Before you ask why someone hates you, ask yourself why you even give a fuck.
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Anything is possible with the right attitude, a sledge hammer and some duct tape.
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Don't like me? Fuck off. Problem solved.
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BITCHCRAFT: The art of pissing people off while smiling sweetly.
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I love free speech. I also love ignore, mute and block.
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Some people’s birth certificates should be an apology letters from the condom factory.
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Be careful when you blindly follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
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Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
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A little piece of advice...Don't talk shit if you can't fight.
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A FACT OF LIFE: After monday and tuesday, even the calendar says WTF
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Always carry a little crazy with you. You never know when you’ll need it.
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