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Men are a lot like infants. If you want them to shut up just put a boob in their mouth.

Men are a lot like infants…

People say I act like I don't give a fuck. Motherfuckers... I'm not acting.

People say…

Sometimes you gotta feed people some bullshit just to see who they run back and tell.

Sometimes you gotta…

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but The Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

Alcohol…

What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop that shit.

What did one butt cheek say…

What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut will sleep with anyone, a bitch will sleep with anyone but you.

What’s the difference…

WE NEED TO TALK: Women's secret code for haha sorry, you're fucked.

WE NEED TO TALK…

Studies have shown that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfuckers.

Studies have shown…

Litttle girls cry. Big girls say fuck.

Litttle girls cry…

TOMORROW: A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.

TOMORROW…