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I don't always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I'm probably at work.

I don’t always tolerate…

It's not that we have more patience as we get older, we just don't give a fuck anymore about pointless drama.

It’s not that we have…

Don't wait till your deathbed to tell people how you feel. Tell them to fuck off today.

Don’t wait…

I try to be a nice person... but sometimes my mouth doesn't cooperate.

I try to be a nice person…

If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

If you obey all the rules…

TWO THINGS: 1. Where have you been all my life? 2. Can you please go back there?

TWO THINGS…

They say "do what you love and money will follow". So I ate cheesecake and drank some wine... Now I wait.

They say…

Shit Happens. Just flush it and move on.

Shit Happens…

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your EGO and jump to your IQ.

If I wanted to kill myself…

I may look calm but in my head I've punched you in the face five times.

I may look calm…