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Sometimes I just agree with people so they can stop talking. - Jet Li

Sometimes I just agree…

I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today.

I don’t have the energy…

Idiots cause stress. Stress causes depression. Depression causes physical ailments. Conclusion: Stupid people make me sick.

Idiots cause stress…

If you're over 40 it's no longer called masturbation. It's called a system check.

If you’re over 40…

How do you sleep knowing people don't like you? ME: Butt ass naked with the fun on high.

How do you sleep…

When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning", I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

When people tell me…

I don't sugar coat shit, I'm not Willy Wonka.

I don’t sugar coat shit…

You never appreciate what you have till it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

You never appreciate…

When I was young I just wanted to be older. What the hell was I thinking!

When I was young…

I don't care if you hate me, I don't live to fucking please you.

I don’t care…