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Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. – Betty White

Why do people say…

I’m sorry dear, in order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though.

I’m sorry dear…

I don’t know if social media has ever made the lame to walk, but it has beyond doubt enabled the dumb to talk.

I don’t know if social media…

SWEARING. Because sometimes "gosh darn" and "meanie head" just don't cover it.

SWEARING…

Over time, I’ve mastered the art of saying “Fuck off” just by looking at someone.

Over time…

I never realize how much I swear until I’m in a situation where I can’t.

I never realize…

Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for much, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

Some people…

Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.

Never laugh…

Whoever said the customer is always right has never worked with the public a day in their freaking life!

Whoever said…

I don’t drink on lunch breaks because the last thing I need is more motivation to tell everyone to fuck off.

I don’t drink…