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People are the best show in the world. And you don’t even pay for the ticket. – Charles Bukowski

People are the best show…

I’m afraid if I give up sarcasm, I would have to replace it with murder.

I’m afraid if I give up sarcasm…

Girls always say they appreciate the little things in life, until you whip out your little penis.

Girls always say…

Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or an idiot from any direction.

Never approach a bull…

Follow your brain. Your heart is stupid as shit.

Follow your brain…

Please don't be an asshole to me, cause then I have to be an asshole to you. And I'm way better at being an asshole then you are.

Please don’t be an asshole…

I’m not anti-social, I’m anti-idiot.

I’m not anti-social…

Lord, please give me patience because if you give me strength I’ll need bail money too.

Lord, please give me…

Some people are such treasures that you want to bury them.

Some people…

Life is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or living with one.

Life is all about ass…