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Be nice? Nah, people take advantage of that shit.

Be nice? Nah, people take advantage of that shit.

Some people just drain the fucking nice right out of you.

Some people just drain the fucking nice right out of you.

Learn to say “no” without explaining yourself.

Learn to say “no” without explaining yourself.

Relationships are like fine wine. They're expensive and eventually you just end up with a headache.

Relationships are like fine wine. They’re expensive and eventually you just end up with a headache.

Don't think you're sexy just cause you got boobs. My dog has 8.

Don’t think you’re sexy just cause you got boobs. My dog has 8.

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

I have to keep reminding myself that I’m an adult and will be charged as one.

I have to keep reminding myself that I’m an adult and will be charged as one.

Tomorrow isn't promised… Cuss them out today.

Tomorrow isn’t promised… Cuss them out today.

I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.

I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.

My level of sarcasm depends on your level of stupidity.

My level of sarcasm depends on your level of stupidity.