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What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together we can stop that shit.

What did one butt cheek say…

What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut will sleep with anyone, a bitch will sleep with anyone but you.

What’s the difference…

WE NEED TO TALK: Women's secret code for haha sorry, you're fucked.

WE NEED TO TALK…

Studies have shown that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfuckers.

Studies have shown…

Litttle girls cry. Big girls say fuck.

Litttle girls cry…

TOMORROW: A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.

TOMORROW…

The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.

The first 5 days…

Fake people talk about other people being fake. Real people worry about their business, and no one else's. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

Fake people…

What doesn't kill you disappoints me.

What doesn’t kill you…

Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety attacks, a love of alcohol and serious dislike for stupid people, but no lemons.

Life has never given me lemons…