Every time I say "Life can't get more fucked up". Life replies, "Challenge accepted".

Every time I say…

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Being a dick…

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away.

Handle every stressful situation…

Life is like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Life is like…

Stress is caused by giving a fuck.

Stress is caused…

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

Common sense…

Do what the fuck you want. Because in the end people are assholes and will judge you anyway.

Do what the fuck you want…

Before you ask why someone hates you, ask yourself why you even give a fuck.

Before you ask…

Anything is possible with the right attitude, a sledge hammer and some duct tape.

Anything is possible…

Don't like me? Fuck off. Problem solved.

Don’t like me?…