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I don’t have a bucket list, but my fucket list is a mile long.

I don’t have a bucket list…

If you could read my mind, you’d be either traumatized or turned on. Both if you are awesome.

If you could read my mind…

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in a body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

I am a person…

Some people are life-sucking, energy-draining, negative bags of annoying hell. Kindly avoid them.

Some people…

If a woman says, “do what you want”, do not do what you want. Stand still, don’t blink, don’t answer, don’t even breathe. Just play dead.

If a woman says…

Life is too short to worry about what others say or think about you. So just enjoy life, have fun, and give them something to talk about.

Life is too short…

Not to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.

Not to get technical…

Thanks to the people that walked in to my life and made it better. And thanks to the ones who walked out and made it amazing.

Thanks to the people…

If you eat well, get good sleep, exercise, and drink plenty of water, you’ll die anyway.

If you eat well…

The fact that there’s a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers. - Darynda Jones

The fact…