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You know why birds sing in the morning? Because they don't have to go to fucking work.

You know why…

If you kick me when I'm down you better pray I don't get up.

If you kick me…

Word of the day: EXHAUSTIPATED. Too tired to give a shit.

Word of the day…

Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? Go ask your mother.

Do you know…

It doesn’t matter…

Never trust a girl who doesn't fart. Hard telling what else she's holding back from you.

Never trust…

Dear haters, I couldn't help but notice that "Awesome" ends with "Me" and "Ugly" starts with "U".

Dear haters…

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, then it's probably shit.

Love is like a fart…

Do you run? Yes. Out of patience, fucks, and money.

Do you run?…

I'm polite with good manners, but bitch don't push me.

I’m polite…