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Listen, smile, agree. And then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway. – Robert Downey Jr.

Listen, smile, agree…

Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. After that who cares? They're a mile away and you've got their shoes.

Before you judge someone…

How to be grown up at work: Replace "Fuck You" with "OK Great".

How to be grown up at work…

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not surrounded by assholes.

Before you diagnose yourself…

Don't be a magnet for fucktards and shitwits.

Don’t be a magnet…

Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you.

Arguing with a woman…

Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.

Even duct tape can’t…

Forgive and forget? I’m neither Jesus nor do I have an Alzheimer’s.

Forgive and forget?…

I told myself that I should stop drinking. But I’m not about to listen to a drunk that talk to himself.

I told myself…

Don’t break anybody’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

Don’t break anybody’s heart…