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As I have grown older…

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it becomes beautiful day.

Some people…

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams

God gave men…

Every time I say "Life can't get more fucked up". Life replies, "Challenge accepted".

Every time I say…

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Being a dick…

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away.

Handle every stressful situation…

Life is like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Life is like…

Stress is caused by giving a fuck.

Stress is caused…

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

Common sense…

Do what the fuck you want. Because in the end people are assholes and will judge you anyway.

Do what the fuck you want…