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Have you ever met someone and thought, “There goes the reason why contraceptives were invented?”

Have you ever met someone…

If you don’t have anything nice to say, you’re pretty fun to be around.

If you don’t have anything nice…

Before you judge me try walking a mile in my shoes so you can see how little I care and how good it feels to be a mile away from you.

Before you judge me…

Edit | | Trash | View admin Attitude, Funny, Offensive, Rude, Sarcastic —No tags —No comments Published 2020/04/01 0 0 Focus keyphrase not set. Needs improvement Select It’s very hard to make friends as an adult because once you’re an adult you’ve realized you hate everyone. It’s very hard to make friends as an adult because once you’re an adult you’ve realized you hate everyone.

It’s very hard…

I love making people who don’t like me hate me more by just being me.

I love making people…

In alcohol’s defence I’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.

In alcohol’s defence…

Can you see the “fuck you” in my smile?

Can you see…

If you’re going to be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you’re just an ass.

If you’re going to be…

Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

Don’t worry about…

Nothing brings a group of assholes together faster than something that’s none of their fucking business.

Nothing brings a group…