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My soul was removed to make a room for all this sarcasm.

My soul was removed to make a room for all this sarcasm.

Ex: I still love you. Me: I still love me too.

Ex: I still love you. Me: I still love me too.

Spanking is a one handed round applause in appreciation of a magnificent ass.

Spanking is a one handed round applause in appreciation of a magnificent ass.

If it's the wrong place and the wrong time... I'll be there.

If it’s the wrong place and the wrong time… I’ll be there.

When I dunk my cookies in milk I think of you and hold them under until the bubbles stop.

When I dunk my cookies in milk I think of you and hold them under until the bubbles stop.

Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.

Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.

Some things are better left unsaid. But that’s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.

Some things are better left unsaid. But that’s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.

Always saying I’m done with all that bullshit, but it goes on forever. Right?

Always saying I’m done with all that bullshit, but it goes on forever. Right?

Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.

Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.

When I think about you I touch myself. Meaning I rub my temples, because you’re giving me a fucking migraine.

When I think about you I touch myself. Meaning I rub my temples, because you’re giving me a fucking migraine.