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Alcoholic

To my friends: Shine on you crazy, perverted, alcoholic weirdos. Y'all are my people.

To my friends…

I went to alcoholics anonymous meetings. Anonymous my ass. I knew everyone there!

I went to alcoholics…

I heard if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Which is why I only drink every night.

I heard if you drink…

A baby can drink a bottle, fall asleep and people say its cute. If I do it, I'm an alcoholic.

A baby can…

When I drink alcohol, everyone says I'm an alcoholic. But when I drink fanta, no one says I'm fantastic.

When I drink alcohol…