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Asshole

Patience is like a toilet roll – the bigger asshole you are dealing with, the quicker it runs out.

Patience…

I am not an asshole. I am a teller of unfortunate truth.

I am not an asshole…

When someone calls me an “asshole” I get this warm feeling inside because my work here is done.

When someone calls me…

Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person might tell you I’m amazing beautiful soul. Another person will say I’m cold-hearted asshole. Believe them both, I act accordingly.

Not everyone gets…

Ignoranus: Someone who is both stupid and an asshole.

Ignoranus…

I hate when I’m starting to become a good person and someone comes and pushes my asshole-mode buttons.

I hate when I’m…

Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other... well the other is an asshole.

Half of me…

Forgiving you means I no longer dwell on what an asshole you are. It doesn’t mean you are no longer an asshole.

Forgiving you…

Be the best version of you, unless you’re an asshole. Don’t be a better asshole.

Be the best…

I’d rather be an honest asshole than a well liked liar.

I’d rather be…