Asshole

I am a nice person. Just don’t push the asshole button.

Trusting people has made me the asshole I am today.

If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “Real Life”, they’d offer a class called “Working with assholes”.

I am not an asshole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate assholes.

Being an asshole is easy. Being a bitch takes style.

I hate when people say “nice to meet you” before I’ve even said anything. How do you know it’s nice to meet me? I’m an asshole.

TIP OF THE DAY: always make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an asshole.

“The customer is always right…” Fuck that! Sometimes the customer is just an asshole.

Before I have coffee, everyone is an asshole. After I have coffee, everyone is still an asshole, but I have coffee.

The world will be a better place if you kick an asshole in the face.