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Asshole

I am a nice person. Just don't push the asshole button.

I am a nice person. Just don’t push the asshole button.

Trusting people has made me the asshole I am today.

Trusting people has made me the asshole I am today.

If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for "Real Life", they'd offer a class called "Working with assholes".

If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “Real Life”, they’d offer a class called “Working with assholes”.

I am not an asshole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate assholes.

I am not an asshole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate assholes.

Being an asshole is easy. Being a bitch takes style.

Being an asshole is easy. Being a bitch takes style.

I hate when people say "nice to meet you" before I've even said anything. How do you know it's nice to meet me? I'm an asshole.

I hate when people say “nice to meet you” before I’ve even said anything. How do you know it’s nice to meet me? I’m an asshole.

TIP OF THE DAY: always make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an asshole.

TIP OF THE DAY: always make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an asshole.

"The customer is always right..." Fuck that! Sometimes the customer is just an asshole.

“The customer is always right…” Fuck that! Sometimes the customer is just an asshole.

Before I have coffee, everyone is an asshole. After I have coffee, everyone is still an asshole, but I have coffee.

Before I have coffee, everyone is an asshole. After I have coffee, everyone is still an asshole, but I have coffee.

The world will be a better place if you kick an asshole in the face.

The world will be a better place if you kick an asshole in the face.