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Asshole

Dirty mind. Caring friend. Potty mouth. Good heart. Smart ass. Kind of an asshole. Humble. Great in bed. Can drink like a fish. Will call you on your shit. I never said I was perfect.

Dirty mind…

If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would fart.

If I wanted to listen…

BOSSHOLE: A person who turns into an asshole ten seconds after being made supervisor.

BOSSHOLE…

Let me be perfectly clear. The only asshole I want in my life is the one I was born with.

Let me be perfectly clear…

Nothing brings a group of assholes together faster than something that’s none of their fucking business.

Nothing brings a group…

I’m not a proctologist but I know an asshole when I see one.

I’m not a proctologist…

I’ve found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes.

I’ve found the key to happiness…

No matter how hard I try to be nice someone always tries to push my asshole button.

No matter how hard…

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not surrounded by assholes.

Before you diagnose yourself…

Don’t make excuses for nasty people. You can’t put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.

Don’t make excuses…