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Baby

"No thanks, I'm vegetarian" is a fun thing to say when someone tries to hand you their baby.

“No thanks, I’m vegetarian”…

So you’re telling me when a baby crawls across the floor for its bottle it’s cute... but when I do it, I need an intervention.

So you’re telling…

You don't realise how many people you dislike until you have to name a baby.

You don’t realise…

When people say they slept like a baby, does that mean they woke up 3 times that night screaming and shit their pants?

When people say…

People think Cupid is a symbol for love. Personally, I find an arrow being shot through your heart by a flying baby quite horrifying.

People think Cupid is…

A baby can drink a bottle, fall asleep and people say its cute. If I do it, I'm an alcoholic.

A baby can…