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Bed

Being an adult is mostly just going to bed when you don’t want to and also waking up when you don’t want to.

Being an adult…

I always start the day with good intentions. Then I get out of bed and that’s usually where it all goes wrong.

I always start the day…

Their opinion doesn’t sleep in your bed at night, so don’t let it fuck with you.

Their opinion…

Folgers got it wrong. The best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee.

Folgers got it wrong…

Some days it’s just better to stay in bed until the next day.

Some days…

Going to bed early, not leaving my house, not going to parties... My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.

Going to bed early…

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go to bed in about 17 short hours”.

Start each day…

I always say "Morning" instead of "Good Morning" because if it was a good morning I would still be in my bed and not talking to people.

I always say “Morning”…

Sometimes I just don’t feel like getting out of bed… Then I remember I have people to piss off and prove wrong.

Sometimes…

Every bad thing that happens today is a direct result of choosing to get out of bed.

Every bad thing…