Brains

I don’t have brain farts. My brain completely shits its pants from time to time.

I don’t have brain farts…

I never understood how much some people can talk early in the morning, I mean to have brain so efficacious. Anything you can extract from mine is: shut the fuck up!

I never understood…

Being able to respond with sarcasm within seconds of a stupid question is a sign of a healthy brain.

Being able to respond…

In a battle between heart and brain, I always listen to my stomach.

In a battle between…

Why do people with brains the size of peas have mouths the size of watermelons?

Why do people…

Have you noticed that the people with verbal diarrhea are often the people with crap for brains?

Have you noticed…

The fact that the jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.

The fact…

Always trust your gut. Your brain can be fooled and your heart is an idiot, but your gut doesn't know how to lie.

Always trust your gut…

I have come to realize that "diarrhea of the mouth" is a direct side effect of "shit-for-brains". Some should seek medical attention immediately.

I have come to realize…

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where shitty ideas come from.

Never hold…