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Cat

Dick pics are the human equivalent of a cat giving you a dead bird as a gift.

Dick pics…

I wish I had as much confidence as my cat does when he licks his ass in the middle of a room full of people.

I wish I had…

Single girls, please stop saying you should give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, please don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.

Single girls, please stop…

Telling an angry woman to calm down works about as well as baptizing a cat.

Telling an angry woman…

A cat looks down upon a man, and a dog looks looks up to a man, but a pig will look a man in the eye and see his equal. – Winston Churchill

A cat looks down…