Coffee

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea… But I drink coffee, so fuck them.

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea…

My body is a filter: coffee comes in, sarcasm comes out.

My body is a filter…

By replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

By replacing…

I’ll get coffee with you but only because I love coffee.

I’ll get coffee…

Half the day, I wonder if it’s too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it’s too early for alcohol.

Half the day…

Coffee fuels my sarcasm. What fuels your stupidity?

Coffee fuels my sarcasm…

If your coffee order is more than four words, you are part of the problem.

If your coffee…

I either drink coffee or I say bad words. Just kidding. I do both.

I either…

My morning coffee makes me feel like I got my shit together. I don’t. But it feels like it.

My morning coffee…

Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy! - Darynda Jones

Drink coffee!…