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Coffee

By replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

By replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

I’ll get coffee with you but only because I love coffee.

I’ll get coffee with you but only because I love coffee.

Half the day, I wonder if it’s too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it’s too early for alcohol.

Half the day, I wonder if it’s too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it’s too early for alcohol.

Coffee fuels my sarcasm. What fuels your stupidity?

Coffee fuels my sarcasm. What fuels your stupidity?

If your coffee order is more than four words, you are part of the problem.

If your coffee order is more than four words, you are part of the problem.

I either drink coffee or I say bad words. Just kidding. I do both.

I either drink coffee or I say bad words. Just kidding. I do both.

My morning coffee makes me feel like I got my shit together. I don’t. But it feels like it.

My morning coffee makes me feel like I got my shit together. I don’t. But it feels like it.

Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy! - Darynda Jones

Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy! – Darynda Jones

I run on caffeine, sarcasm, and inappropriate thoughts.

I run on caffeine, sarcasm, and inappropriate thoughts.

BEFORE COFFEE: I hate everybody. AFTER COFFEE: I feel good about hating everybody.