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Day

Make yesterday the last day you spent giving a fuck about people that don’t show they give a fuck back.

Make yesterday…

Start each day with a goal so you have something to fuck up.

Start each day with a goal…

Marriage. Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Marriage…

Half the day, I wonder if it’s too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it’s too early for alcohol.

Half the day…

If anyone had a not so good day today, do your best to rock that shit tomorrow. Life is too short for two days of bullshit in a row.

If anyone had…

Have a great day! Or don’t! No one cares!

Have a great day!…

If your phone battery lasts all day, it’s because no one likes you.

If your phone battery…

Yeah, it's pretty hard not to be completely cynical these days. - David Byrne

Yeah, it’s pretty hard…

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.

Today…

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? - Steven Wright

24 hours in a day…