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Have a great day! Or don’t! No one cares!

Have a great day! Or don’t! No one cares!

If your phone battery lasts all day, it’s because no one likes you.

If your phone battery lasts all day, it’s because no one likes you.

Yeah, it's pretty hard not to be completely cynical these days. - David Byrne

Yeah, it’s pretty hard not to be completely cynical these days. – David Byrne

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? - Steven Wright

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? – Steven Wright

Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.

Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.

One day I’m just gonna say fuck it all. And let my demons out to play

One day I’m just gonna say fuck it all. And let my demons out to play

LIVE TODAY LIKE IT IS YOUR LAST DAY! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn’t.

LIVE TODAY LIKE IT IS YOUR LAST DAY! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn’t.

One day I will start behaving myself.. But not today. (Tomorrow’s not looking good either.)

One day I will start behaving myself.. But not today. (Tomorrow’s not looking good either.)

Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. It’s YOUR day. Ruin it yourself.

Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. It’s YOUR day. Ruin it yourself.