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You should wear a condom on your head. Because If you are going to act like a dick, you might as well dress like one.

You should wear…

The bigger the dick the smaller the penis.

The bigger the dick…

Almost every hand you have ever shaken has had a dick in it.

Almost every hand…

Your dick belongs in your pants, not in your personality.

Your dick…

Troubles are like dicks. Everybody thinks they got the biggest.

Troubles…

In a room full of dicks You should not be an asshole.

In a room full of dicks…

I guess those enlargement pills are working because you're twice the dick you were yesterday.

I guess…

Life is a dick, sometimes it gets hard for no reason.

Life is a dick…

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

How is a woman like a condom?…

Life is like a dick. Sometimes it's up... Sometimes it's down... But it won't be hard forever.

Life is…