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Almost every hand you have ever shaken has had a dick in it.

Almost every hand you have ever shaken has had a dick in it.

Your dick belongs in your pants, not in your personality.

Your dick belongs in your pants, not in your personality.

Troubles are like dicks. Everybody thinks they got the biggest.

Troubles are like dicks. Everybody thinks they got the biggest.

In a room full of dicks You should not be an asshole.

In a room full of dicks You should not be an asshole.

I guess those enlargement pills are working because you're twice the dick you were yesterday.

I guess those enlargement pills are working because you’re twice the dick you were yesterday.

Life is a dick, sometimes it gets hard for no reason.

Life is a dick, sometimes it gets hard for no reason.

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Life is like a dick. Sometimes it's up... Sometimes it's down... But it won't be hard forever.

Life is like a dick. Sometimes it’s up… Sometimes it’s down…But it won’t be hard forever.

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

Being a dick won’t make yours any bigger.