I love when people underestimate me. Seeing the stupid expressions on their faces after they see what I can really do is fucking priceless.
Sometimes, I shock myself with the smart stuff I say and do. Other times, I try to get out of the car with my seat belt on.
I don’t always do the wrong thing, but when I do, it’s the wrongiest of all the wrongs that ever wronged.
If a woman says, “do what you want”, do not do what you want. Stand still, don’t blink, don’t answer, don’t even breathe. Just play dead.