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If you don’t like the way I do things feel free to mind your own fucking business.
I love when people underestimate me. Seeing the stupid expressions on their faces after they see what I can really do is fucking priceless.
Sometimes, I shock myself with the smart stuff I say and do. Other times, I try to get out of the car with my seat belt on.
Whoever is in charge of making sure I don’t do stupid shit is fucking fired.
I don’t always do the wrong thing, but when I do, it’s the wrongiest of all the wrongs that ever wronged.
Tell me not to do something and I will do it twice and take pictures.
If a woman says, “do what you want”, do not do what you want. Stand still, don’t blink, don’t answer, don’t even breathe. Just play dead.
I don’t owe anyone any explanations for why I do the shit I do.
Listen, smile, agree. And then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway. – Robert Downey Jr.