Don’t

If it’s not yours, don't take it. If it’s not right, don’t do it. If it’s not true, don’t say it. If you don’t know, then shut up

If it’s not yours…

I don’t chase anyone anymore. Wanna walk out of my life? There’s the the door. Hell, I’ll even hold it for you.

I don’t chase anyone…

I don’t always work but when I do, I make sure my boss is around.

I don’t always work…

Don’t tell me to make myself at home then act surprised when I take off my pants and drink all your vodka.

Don’t tell me…

Don’t ever make me choose between alcohol and you. I will miss you when I’m drunk.

Don’t ever make me…

You don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea. Be gasoline. Set shit on fire.

You don’t have to be…

When a woman says “correct me if I’m wrong”, do not under any, I mean any circumstances do it.

When a woman says…

If I ask you how you’re doing, please just say “good” and move on. Don’t start telling me shit.

If I ask you…

Don't underestimate Joe's ability to fuck things up. ― Barack Obama

Don’t underestimate…

Don't ask me stupid questions. I carry sarcasm like car keys.

Don’t ask me…