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You call it “Road rage”. I call it “ Aggressively maneuvering around assholes that don’t know how to fucking drive”.

You call it “Road rage”…

Don’t drink and drive because there are people who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault.

Don’t drink and drive…

I drive safer when there’s food in my passengers seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

I drive safer…

There’s no need to drive me crazy. I’m close enough to walk.

There’s no need to drive me crazy…

You know you’re getting old when “friends with benefits” means having someone who can drive at night.

You know you’re getting old…

I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying, “I am a vet, therefore I drive like an animal”. Suddenly I realised how many gynecologists there are on the road.

I saw a car…

If you don't swear when you drive then you aren't paying enough attention to the road.

If you don’t swear…