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Drunk

Never take advice from me. You'll only end up drunk.

Never take advice from me. You’ll only end up drunk.

The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. - Richard Braunstein

The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. – Richard Braunstein

You know you are drunk when you put your food in the microwave and enter your pin number.

You know you are drunk when you put your food in the microwave and enter your pin number.

Don't talk to me about shit that happened when I was drunk. "Drunk me" and "Sober me" are not on speaking terms.

Don’t talk to me about shit that happened when I was drunk. “Drunk me” and “Sober me” are not on speaking terms.

Only 3 types of people tell the truth: Kids, drunk people, and anyone who is pissed the fuck off.

Only 3 types of people tell the truth. Kids, drunk people, and anyone who is pissed the fuck off.

There are two types of people who really irritate me: A drunk person when I’m sober and a sober person when I’m drunk.

There are two types of people who really irritate me: A drunk person when I’m sober and a sober person when I’m drunk.

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Are we having some drinks, or are we having some dranks? Need to dress accordingly.

Are we having some drinks, or are we having some dranks? Need to dress accordingly.

I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.

I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.

I told myself that I should stop drinking. But I’m not about to listen to a drunk that talk to himself.

I told myself that I should stop drinking. But I’m not about to listen to a drunk that talk to himself.