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Every Day

I heard if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Which is why I only drink every night.

I heard if you drink…

It’s not an attitude if I have it every day. It’s my personality.

It’s not an attitude…

Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.

Every day is Friday…

Shit happens. Every day. To everyone. The difference is in how people deal with it.

Shit happens…

I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen.

I wake up…

Every damn day I ask the same three questions. What the fuck is wrong with people? What the fuck was I thinking? Where the fuck is my drink?

Every damn day…

The world is not full of assholes, but they are strategically placed so that you'll come across one every day. Every Fucking Day.

The world is not full of assholes…

I'm trying to be a more positive person every day. Today, I'm positive everyone is an asshole.

I’m trying to be…

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence eat bacon.

Every day…

Every day at work I worry that I’m going to scream “Shut The Fuck Up” out loud instead of in my head.

Every day…