Every Day

I heard if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Which is why I only drink every night.

It’s not an attitude if I have it every day. It’s my personality.

Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.

Shit happens. Every day. To everyone. The difference is in how people deal with it.

I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen.

Every damn day I ask the same three questions: What the fuck is wrong with people? What the fuck was I thinking? Where the fuck is my drink?

The world is not full of assholes, but they are strategically placed so that you’ll come across one every day. Every Fucking Day.

I’m trying to be a more positive person every day. Today, I’m positive everyone is an asshole.

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon.

Every day at work I worry that I’m going to scream “Shut The Fuck Up” out loud instead of in my head.