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Feeling

Been feeling a little moody and run down lately. So I looked up my symptoms. It’s adulthood. I have adulthood.

Been feeling…

When you are feeling powerless just remember, a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.

When you are feeling powerless…

Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what beautiful day, I’ve got a wonderful feeling, someone’s gonna fuck up my day!

Oh what a beautiful morning…

Next time you're feeling down remember life is all about perspective. I have a friend who has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week yet every day he complains about how much he hates prison.

Next time you’re feeling…

To anyone that is feeling unloved today. I don’t love you either and don’t give a fuck!

To anyone…

Do you ever get the feeling that your fairy godmother stepped out for a smoke?

Do you ever get the feeling…

Sometimes doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit – you get a warm feeling, but nobody else notices.

Sometimes doing a good job…

You’ll be sad for a while, then you’ll stop giving a fuck. And it will be the best feeling ever.

You’ll be sad for a while…

GRAMMAR: The difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

GRAMMAR…

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

You know that…