Free

One of the many free services I provide is letting people know they’re assholes.

One of the many…

When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing”, it doesn’t mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

When you ask me…

There are 3 places you can stay for free: "In your lane", "out of my business", and "over there".

There are 3 places…

I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why my friends and family expect that shit for free.

I get paid to be nice at work…

"GO ON", I whisper as I unfold my hands towards the open sky. A single fuck escapes from my finger, soaring gracefully into the cool air. "YOU'RE FREE NOW". My last fuck has gone. I have none left to give.

“GO ON”…

If you love someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody else liked them. Set them free again.

If you love someone…

Don't bother paying a therapist. I'll tell you what's wrong with you for free.

Don’t bother paying a therapist…

"Are you free tomorrow?" "No, I'm expensive."

“Are you free…

"The truth shall set you free." Unless you're in a court. Then you should probably shut the fuck up.

“The truth…

I love free speech. I also love ignore, mute and block.

I love free speech…