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Fuck

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me for not beating the fuck out of you the first time.

Fool me once…

I hide behind sarcasm because telling you to go fuck yourself is considered rude in most social situations.

I hide behind sarcasm…

One woman’s “fuck him” is another woman’s “finally”.

One woman’s “fuck him”…

Stop saying “yes” and “ok” when you should be saying “no thanks” and “fuck off”.

Stop saying…

Sometimes life will fuck you and you’ll just have to change positions and find a way to enjoy it.

Sometimes life will fuck you…

Life is about saying “FUCK IT” to those who matter, and “FUCK YOU” to those who don’t.

Life is…

I’m not good at push ups, pull ups and sit ups. I’m pretty good at fuck ups though.

I’m not good at push ups…

Masturbation is the only thing that isn't taxed, regulated, or illegal. That's your "freedom". You're free to go fuck yourself.

Masturbation…

Funny how everything goes your way when you stop giving a fuck.

Funny how…

Did you know if you text your boss “Go Fuck Yourself” you don’t have to go to work anymore?

Did you know…