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Getting Older

Getting older is just one body part after another saying, “Ha ha, you think that’s bad? Fucking watch this...”

Getting older…

Grow old with your best friends so you can race in wheelchairs and fight each other with canes.

Grow old with…

Getting old is weird because you're still that same enthusiastic kid trapped in a shitshow of a body.

Getting old…

The older I get, the more ridiculous you all seem.

The older I get…

Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.

Three things to remember…

Funny about getting older, your eyesight may weaken yet you can see through people much better.

Funny about getting older…

The older you get the more you appreciate being at home not doing a fucking thing.

The older you get…

You know you’re getting old when you barely do anything all day, but still need to have a nap to continue to do barely anything.

You know you’re getting old…

The older I get, the less I try to tip toe around people's feelings. You either like me or you don't. Simple as that.

The older I get…

You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking "I might as well pee while I'm here".

You know you’re getting old…