Girl

Having a girl as a friend is like having a chicken as a pet. Sooner or later you're going to want to eat her.

Having a girl as a friend…

Single girls, please stop saying you should give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, please don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.

Single girls, please stop…

Once a girl takes off her bra, don’t ask her to do shit. She’s clocked out from life.

Once a girl…

Every girl is beautiful. Sometimes it takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.

Every girl…

Girls have magic powers. They get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.

Girls have magic powers…

Bitch: Any girl who is skinnier or prettier than you.

BITCH…

Every girl is a doll. Either Barbie or Annabelle.

Every girl is a doll…

Litttle girls cry. Big girls say fuck.

Litttle girls cry…

Never trust a girl who doesn't fart. Hard telling what else she's holding back from you.

Never trust…

If you meet a girl that admits she's wrong, apologizes and change her way... Dump her because that might be a man. Women don't do that.

If you meet a girl…