God

I have no problem with god – it’s his fan club that scares me. ― A.B. Potts

Sometimes God sends an ex back into your life to see if you are still stupid.

You thank God daily, but have you ever once heard a ‘You’re welcome’?

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. – Woody Allen

God give us only what we can handle. Apparently God thinks I’m a badass.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter. – Winston Churchill

God must love stupid people. He made so many.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. – Emo Philips

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. – Robin Williams