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I just can't help it... I'm even a bad influence on myself.

I just can’t help it…

If you can’t sleep at night, it’s usually because you’re awake. Hope this helps.

If you can’t sleep…

Therapy helps but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper.

Therapy helps…

Don’t lead, I'll wander off bored. Don't follow. I'll get you lost. Walk beside me and help me cause trouble.

Don’t lead…

If you need money or any financial help feel free to text me. We will beg together.

If you need money…

Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.

Sarcasm…

Better discourage a man’s climbing than help him to break his neck.

Better discourage…

My idea of “help from above” is a sniper on the roof.

My idea of “help from above”…

Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.

Sure I’ll help you out…

No matter what you are going through, always try and help people. So instead of saying “Fuck off” ask, “How can I help you to fuck off?”

No matter what…