Job

Your job as a woman is to observe when your man is happy and immediately put a stop to that nonsense.

Your job as a woman…

Sometimes doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit – you get a warm feeling, but nobody else notices.

Sometimes doing a good job…

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.

Don’t be ashamed…

"What’s your dream job?" "Well, in my dreams I don't work."

“What’s your dream job?”…

Sorry, it's not my job to blow sunshine up your ass.

Sorry, it’s not my job…

ALWAYS BE YOURSELF. (except during job interviews, the first few month of a relationship, or any type of social interaction)

ALWAYS BE YOURSELF…

My dream job would be driving the karma bus.

My dream job…

If I had a dollar for every time I fake laughed at work I wouldn't even need a job anymore.

If I had a dollar…

Need money for college. Need college for a job. Need a job for money. I wonder who was the mastermind behind this genius system. - Tom Hanks

Need money…

Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not... I kinda want this job.

INTERVIEWER..