Job

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.

“What’s your dream job?” “Well, in my dreams I don’t work.”

Sorry, it’s not my job to blow sunshine up your ass.

ALWAYS BE YOURSELF. (except during job interviews, the first few month of a relationship, or any type of social interaction)

My dream job would be driving the karma bus.

If I had a dollar for every time I fake laughed at work I wouldn’t even need a job anymore.

Need money for college. Need college for a job. Need a job for money. I wonder who was the mastermind behind this genius system. – Tom Hanks

INTERVIEWER: So, tell me about yourself. ME: I’d rather not… I kinda want this job.

First off sex on the first night is not hoeing. It’s an interview and if I call you the next day. You got the job.