Laugh

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.

If robbers ever broke into…

If I had a dollar for every time I fake laughed at work I wouldn't even need a job anymore.

If I had a dollar…

With age come new skills... You can laugh, cough, sneeze, and pee all at the same time.

With age…

Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.

Never laugh…

My kind of people laugh at offensive jokes because they understand that life is ridiculous but also fucking hilarious.

My kind of people…

Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.

Sometimes I wish…

Mirrors don’t lie. And lucky for you they don’t laugh either.

Mirrors don’t lie…